Ode to Heartbreaker

[Whats up guys. Welcome back to Dark Skin & Mangos. It’s Karen, I wrote this post because I needed to vent and I write my feelings out best. Enjoy.]

Dear Boy who broke my heart,

Bottom line, you did it. Didn’t really think that it was possible with me. To his girlfriend now, you do not understand that in all reality, you were just the side piece that got her opportunity and got upgraded to my position. That doesn’t give you the slightest idea or even help you reflect that something is not right here? If you end up marrying him, I can’t wait for the day that you have children with him and your children look up at you and tell you, “Mommy, Daddy, I want to be like her one day.”

You broke my heart and won’t ever understand how bad it even hurts to even try and look at you. I told my mom about you and I never do that for any boy because I hate telling her something about a boy that I just think MAY BE the one for me only to be filled with disappointment afterwards. Because you made it seem like we were forever and a day.You made it seem like time was nonexistent between us. Then you broke my heart, got your closure, and moved on not even within the next 24 hours.

I’ve blamed myself for months because I thought I said something but in reality, you already had another girlfriend before breaking up with me. Just for me to find out that I’ve been treated dirty the whole time. You portrayed yourself to be this guy that means well but something never goes his way. That you have the best intentions but never knew how to handle it properly. Again in reality, that was never the case, you knew what you were doing and you knew how you are.

I’ve been questioning myself for months about you and that we would probably still be together if it wasn’t for that night; you could only make me cry and hurt inside. I missed how you made me laugh, I missed how you made me feel so beautiful, I missed how you kept my hopes up with empty promises and meaningless words.

My friends got tired of hearing me complain and cry about how much I missed you. Quite frankly, so am I.

I can’t wait for the day a man, NOT A BOY, but a man looks at me as if he was starstruck. Is proud to have his hand intertwined with mine with his head held high. Then just for you to think in the back of your head that you could have had something worth having, something that could have benefited you in the long run. Cause my God, my Lord and Savior only has great plans for me. He knows I’m special and even though you didn’t see it, I’m glad one man did. Eventually in the future, two men would see it.

I’m only growing bigger, badder, and greater than the day before. For you to look at me with a face full of regret will be the day you realize that nothing was worth losing me over. I can’t wait for the day a REAL MAN comes to me and can’t wait to turn over my side of the bed and look at my face while I’m sleeping because he’s excited for me to wake up and smile at him. I can’t wait until I grow to love again and feel that same love back. It always seems like I’m the one that loves harder.

I defintely learned my lesson from you:
To never give wifey actions away to someone who doesn’t even see you as his equal or something down the line. 

And the day I do find that MAN, I will be glad that you broke my heart and let me go, dumping me in the trash. He will follow up behind you, dust me off, and give me warmth again. But it will be a greater warmth and WAY past you ability to comprehend what that warmth is.

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