Time for Some Chit-Chat, Welcome Back… it’s Nisa.
This is for anyone who struggles with confidence, insecurities, or anything of that nature.
So all my life I’ve been pretty shy and awkward. Its always been hard to crack that shell of mine, but being shy is sooo easy. All I have to do is talk to no one, don’t raise my hand, and keep it mute. But if you’re really shy or awkward, you know that in most cases, there’s a reason why. It could be because you’re insecure, or anxious, or fearful, or you seek approval but are worried you won’t get it from your peers. Yea, its pretty complex stuff. As easy as it is, its not a fun life. Like at all. My fellow shy people know what I’m talking about. So now I’m in college, where being shy and anxious is starting to get old. I want to get out of this zone. Because I’m so anxious, I often miss out on things because of fear, or lack of motivation. You see, being socially anxious is comfortable. It’s easy to use this quality as an excuse to say, not socialize, or ask the professor a question. But am I the only one who’s tired of this lifestyle? I cant be. So I have created a little list for us shy, kinda awkward people to not be so shy and awkward, or to actually get by as as shy and awkward, and maybe laugh a little along the way.
Step out of Your Comfort Zone.
Believe me, I know more than anyone that this is easier said than done. And I know how hard it is to simply approach someone with intentions of making a friend, or even more than a friend if you know what I mean. But we have to do those things that scare us, one by one. So make a list of those things that just ain’t so easy for you. Have a question or comment in class? Raise your hand, it’s no big deal! Crushing on someone? Shoot your shot! Or at least say hey and introduce yourself. And don’t rehearse your lines! I know how that sounds but if you want to rid those nerves, you have to just go with things. Literally practicing doing those scary things will make them muuuch less scary. Trust me.
2. Try and Make Friends With Very Social and Outgoing People.
Ok this is another good one. I have this friend who is by far one of the most confident, social, carefree people I have ever met. When I am around her, I literally do not care about anyone’s opinions. Her attitude is not only admirable, but it’s contagious. Sometimes when I’m not around her and I get all nervous or anxious, I think to myself, “just be how you are when you’re around her” and it works! I’m telling you, having an influence like that in your life is sure to benefit you. It’ll kinda of force you to step out of your comfort zone. Because let’s face it, an introvert plus another introvert makes for one great, but far too comfortable and “introverted” duo.
3. Fake it ‘Til you Make it.
Alright, let me explain. The simple act of pretending to be outgoing, social, confident, or not anxious, will make you all of these things, eventually. Now when I say “fake it”, don’t think I’m telling you to be someone you are not. That’s COMPLETELY different. In this case, you are practicing being your best you at all times. It’s becoming the person you’d like to be. This step is pretty hard, but the trick is to make it look easy. Make yourself look comfortable. Eventually you will feel comfortable, I promise.
4. Develop a Whole New Attitude.
Okay this one is pretty hard as well. It kinda ties into tip 3. However this is a double tip. So to develop a new attitude is both a mental and physical thing. The first step is mental, because you’re gonna need that mental preparation for the physical part. You’re mindset has to go from anti-social, “I’m in a bubble or shell forever”, to more confident, more positive, “today will be a great day, put a smile on”. In order to do this, you simply have to think positive thoughts 24/7. It sounds hard, but every negative thought you have, replace it with a positive one. This will become habit. Now for the physical, you basically have to wear your new attitude. Now for me, what makes me feel more confident is what I wear. If I put on a fly fit, I feel poppin’. It makes me walk with my head held higher and I feel as good as I know I look. I’ve gotten so good at looking, therefore feeling good, that I know very well I look damn good even in sweats! So the point is to do what will make you feel better about yourself. Make sure that your body language expresses confidence, and surely you will develop confidence. Even if you don’t feel great that day, make it look like you do by simply smiling for instance. Trust me this works. Walk like this, talk like this.
So whatever your reason for being shy or anxious may be, I hope these tips help you out a little bit. Remember it’s all mental and those thoughts such as “what if I sound stupid” or “what if I trip and fall, or drop something” (yes, the walk from the food line to the table in the cafe is the hardest walk ever for a lot of people lol), or if you’re wondering what people are thinking, trust me, most of those people are not concerned by what you’re doing. It’s all in your head. So carry on, without a care in the world.